I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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