I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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