he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
