he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Randomize
