I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
