Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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