'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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