How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
