This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
