Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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