just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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