I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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