You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
