My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
