Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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