Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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