Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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