hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
