yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize