my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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