Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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