A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize