he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
