In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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