i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
