Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
