i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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