i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
