I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
