Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
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