you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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