Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Randomize
