Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
is it fun? or sober?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
