There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
