question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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