So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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