what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
