no. you can't hotbox the world.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
