Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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