READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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