This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
