So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
