I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
