Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
