I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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