Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
