they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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