So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I think im going to throw up on grandma
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize