just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
