jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize