so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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