I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
