im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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