Where did you get a picture of my penis
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
