when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize