Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
