fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
