About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
