so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
