what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
